I’ve been meaning to write this post for some time now (I’m reminded after every holiday!) but a few tweets that I saw on my timeline today about Father’s Day reminded me that it was time to get ‘er done! I’ve been on Twitter for 3 years now. Folks find something to complain about every day. I’m…
Dood: Mommy why you marry Daddy?
Me: Because I love him.
Dood: But I love you.
Me: Well I’m taken but when u get bigger you can find someone to love and marry.
Dood: Yeah, I’m gonna find a castle, save the princess & marry her.
Me: *sigh* A princess Dood?
Dood: Mommy?
Me: Yes Dood.
Dood: Why are castles far far away? I’m never gonna find her.
I, __Alovelydai_____, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills.
If a reasonable amount of time passes, and I fail to ask for at least
one of the following:
___a Martini
___a Margarita
___a Scotch and soda
___a Bloody Mary
___a Gin and Tonic
___a Glass of Chardonnay
___sex
___a Steak
___a Lobster or some crab legs
___ the remote control
___a bowl of ice cream
___the sports page
___Did I mention sex
___Chocolate
it should be presumed that I won’t ever get any better.
When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and call it a day. At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.
Signature:__Alovelydai______________________ Date: _3/29/12____
NOTE:
I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub. The
patients are happier, and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them
don’t even need embalming when their time comes. If anyone knows the name of this happy place, PLEASE send it to me!
